REVISED ENTRY: 12/24/10
So confused for a while,
So many factors, and there is no transparency,
It's all wrong, and I have had to hide things for him, and I'm not hidden, I'm the one who knows too much,
I've also seen too much, heard too much.
For a while, I had seen only his "work face",
until seeping in between the cracks,
came his true character...
making his face evil...
He treats me as if I'm his secretary or Girl Friday,
He is the villain, "Super Baby Daddy" spreading his sperm indiscriminately in as many vaginal cavities as humanly possible...desperately trying to imprison the women,
who were cursed with him as their partner in parenthood...
keeping them in shackles and strings of bullying untruths...
and at first, from that tornado which had swept me up that was named Kai,
I was busy, lost in HIS lives,
looking for where my own life began...
and the eye of the storm keeps moving,
letting up at certain points,
enough to let me recognize,
that something was wrong with his intentions,
because they had been hidden...
I was in need of finding my own...
creating my own...
owning my own...
because he thinks so highly of himself,
without giving thought to anyone else, selfish;
to even his offspring,
it is never going to be enough for him to just manipulate
because he is not anything noble,
he is only high, a user of drugs, of people...the majority of the time,
so big in his own mind.
Kai is ridiculous,
expects that close attention be paid to him and his bitch fit rants,
his tantrums about his hierarchical philosophy on "commitment" and being a "professional" and the levels he has defined with the diarrhea of his mouth,
his endless tirades about being a part of the solution...
All of that "bird's eye viewpoint" bs,
as if he had some perception that wasn't warped by his
lack of integrity in everything...
He lies so much he believes all his yarns now...
He is a person who used his kids to keep me on his side for their sake.
He is a person who has a long list of people who end up almost shanking him after spending time with him...And I used to wonder why?!
Please save all your crap for another...
I am not tha one...
You thought I would be with you in the end?
That's what you told me that night before I never came back anymore...
But then again Kai, you also predicted very early, before we started living together, that it would end in disaster, and I couldn't understand why...Now I know it was because you must've always had ulterior motives in mind...and had known it then before revealing that to me...
With time comes clarity though...Your evil face is clear as day now...
